How Can You Deal with Guilt as a Long-Distance Caregiver?
Guilt is a painful emotion because it leaves you feeling inadequate, even if you’re running as hard and as fast as you can. Addressing the situation head on is the best way to get through these feelings.
Elder Care in Kentwood MI: Long-Distance Caregiving
Acknowledge What You’re Feeling So You Can Deal with It.
Until you acknowledge your feelings, you can’t really work through them. Accepting what you are feeling doesn’t mean that you’re assigning any sort of value to those feelings. What it means is that you’re calling it by name so that you can examine it.
Assess Whether Your Feelings Are Accurate.
You’re still not going to assign a value to your feelings, but now it’s time to look at how accurate they are. If you’re feeling guilty because you really could be doing more, then that’s something for you to work on. It’s possible, however, that you’re feeling guilty because you want to be doing more, but truly can’t.
Recognize that You’re Doing What You Can.
Once you’ve determined whether you can be doing more or not, it’s time to give yourself a break. You’re doing what you can with the situation in front of you and unless you can change any of the variables in that situation, you need to accept that fact.
Focus on What You Can Continue to Do.
Instead of beating yourself up over what you can’t do for your senior, focus on what you can do. Even if you’re not able to be there in person, you can coordinate visits from elder care providers who can offer hands-on help. You may be able to manage situations that are difficult for your elderly family member to handle, such as sorting out paperwork or doing research.
Find Ways to Be More Present for Your Senior.
You may find that augmenting what you’re already doing with additional activities helps you to feel less guilty. For example, maybe you call your senior a couple of times a week, but you decide to add a video call to your weekly calling routine. This gives you a way to see your senior, even via video, which can help you to feel as if you have a better picture of how she’s really doing.
If you’re still having trouble managing your guilt, consider reaching out to a therapist or a counselor to help you work through these feelings.
If you or someone you know needs help with elder care in Kentwood, MI, contact Gauthier Family Home Care. We provide quality and affordable home care services in our community. Call us at (616) 258-2300 for more information.
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