10 Ways to Cope When a Senior Parent With Alzheimer’s Turns Abusive
Caring for a senior parent with Alzheimer’s is difficult, but it can be especially difficult when your senior parent becomes combative, abusive, or convinced that you’re trying to do them wrong.
Dementia impacts every person differently. Some seniors with Alzheimer’s rarely get upset or angry. But some seniors with Alzheimer’s become angry, mean, abusive, or convinced that their family caregiver is trying to hurt them or steal from them. When that happens it can be emotionally devastating for a family caregiver.
One of the best things that you can do if you are a family caregiver for a senior parent with Alzheimer’s is get Alzheimer’s care. Alzheimer’s care is specialty care for seniors with Alzheimer’s. The caregivers that provide Alzheimer’s care have training in the most effective ways to handle tough situations. A caregiver can be a good buffer between you and a senior parent.
In addition to getting Alzheimer’s care for your senior parent you can use these tips to help cope with the tough situation of caring for an abusive parent with dementia:
Educate Yourself About Alzheimer’s
Understanding the disease is the first step in coping with an abusive parent who has Alzheimer’s. Learn about the stages of Alzheimer’s, its effects on the brain, and the potential behavioral changes that can occur. Knowledge can help you anticipate and prepare for challenging situations.
Get Professional Help
Enlist the assistance of healthcare professionals, such as geriatric care managers, social workers, or therapists who specialize in Alzheimer’s and dementia care. They can provide guidance, resources, and strategies for managing your parent’s behavior. You also should start seeing a counselor that can help you work through your emotions.
Join a Support Group
Joining a support group for caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients can provide a safe space to share your experiences, frustrations, and coping strategies with others who are going through similar challenges. Support groups offer emotional support and practical advice. Having a safe space with no judgment where you can talk about how what’s going on affects you will help you cope.
Set Boundaries
While it can be difficult to establish boundaries with an abusive parent, it’s essential for your own well-being. If those boundaries are crossed, have a plan for how to deal with that. Getting Alzheimer’s care is one way to do that. Leaving the room is another.
Cultivate Patience
Alzheimer’s patients often become frustrated, confused, or frightened due to memory loss and cognitive decline. Try to remain patient and empathetic, even in the face of abusive behavior. Remember that it’s the disease causing these actions, not your parent’s true character.
Use Diversion and Distraction
Redirecting your parent’s attention or engaging them in a different activity can defuse a potentially abusive situation. Offer a favorite snack, play soothing music, or suggest a calming walk. It can be difficult to not lose your cool sometimes, but you can leave the room to collect yourself after diverting their attention to something else.
Avoid Confrontation
Engaging in arguments or confrontations with your parent may exacerbate their aggressive behavior. Instead, try to maintain a calm and non-confrontational approach, and avoid situations that trigger aggression. When a parent is yelling at you, accusing you of wanting to hurt them, or saying terrible things to you it’s normal to want to engage with them in a hostile way but that’s not going to accomplish anything. Step out of the room if you need to collect yourself and take some deep breaths.
Take Safety Precautions
Prioritize safety, both for yourself and your parents. Lock away potentially dangerous items like sharp objects or chemicals. Consider installing locks or alarms on doors if your parent is prone to wandering or becoming agitated.
Get Respite Care
Caring for an abusive parent with Alzheimer’s can be emotionally and physically draining. Seek respite care or Alzheimer’s care from professional caregivers to give yourself regular breaks and reduce caregiver burnout.
Self-Care
Don’t neglect your own well-being. Take time for self-care activities that recharge your physical and emotional batteries, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and loved ones.
Get Help From Family
If you have siblings enlist them to help with caring for your senior parent. Even if they just can video call once or twice a week, getting them to engage more with your senior parent will help give you a break.
If you or someone you know needs help with Alzheimer’s care in Lowell, MI, contact Gauthier Family Home Care. We provide quality and affordable home care services in our community. Call us at (616) 258-2300 for more information.
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